its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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