Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
MIDGETS
????
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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