Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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