the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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