I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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