So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
