We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
