Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
