Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im part way to drunk.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
