ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
