You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
