He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize