My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
