He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They have beer where we have blood.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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