Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
