At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
