I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
