is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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