he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
