"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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