piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
