Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize