Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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