Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
