What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
