Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
