I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
