sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
