Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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