just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
