Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
