Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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