gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
