I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
