I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
