so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize