Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
