ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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