Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
FUCK WHALES
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