So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize