just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
