it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
