Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize