discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You're like the curious george of whores
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
