hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
