"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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