You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
