Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Enjoy the penises
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
