filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
