And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
