Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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