what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I touched a dick in church today
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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