i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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