Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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