I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
