So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize