Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I haven't been this sober since birth.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
