am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
thus making me awesome and them whores
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
