we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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